My motivation to get going again? My children showed great courage today. Others may not have even noticed it or seen the importance of it, but my heart felt it and my smile returned.
My son stepped off the bus by himself today because his sister had joined an after school activity, and as he slipped out of his shoes and headed toward the pantry, he began to tell me a little about his day. Usually, I hear about the latest and greatest toy that all the kids are into right now and how someone has a rare one of whatever that toy is. Yep, I heard about all that today too, but he told me about something else that happened.
He told his friend, a friend he considers to be his best friend, that he has ADHD and Aspergers. He has never shared that with any of his peers before. He explained to me that his friend asked him what Aspergers was and my son said he wasn't sure. It's a syndrome he tries to clarify. Apparently, this spawned a conversation where my son said that this syndrome can cause him to get mad. This friend of his, whom I really enjoy and I am thrilled my son has in his life, must have thought this sounded pretty cool... kinda like the Hulk maybe. He asked if my son could get mad now! Love it.
His friend didn't treat him differently or ridicule him. He probably (actually, I'm pretty positive) already realized that my son could get mad easily anyway, but he didn't make my son feel ashamed. My son shared this sensitive information for the first time and it was a very big and brave step for him. I'm so very happy over it.
My daughter's display of bravery was a little different, but smile inducing all the same. Tonight, during a personal safety/anti-bullying demonstration held during a cub scout meeting, she joined in the activities as the only girl. Standing up next to boys wearing uniforms, and wearing her purple dress, flower headband and sparkly light up shoes, she tried her best to keep up and stand up tall next to the boys. This was after she was too afraid to walk across the gym to join them until they became close enough that she could slip into the line undetected. While the kids sat and listened to the instructor, she paid attention. When the instructor asked questions, she sat still... except once. She bravely raised her hand and spilled forth the answer in her tiny voice. For my very shy and anxious little girl, that was a big deal. I was so thrilled that she raised her hand! After hearing all the boys loudly vocalizing their "Yes SIR" and "Thank you SIR" replies, I expected to hear her get lost in the mix, but she spoke up without a problem. In my eyes, she shown brighter than the purple dress and twinkling shoes.
I welcome my smiles with open arms and put aside the infractions that pushed it from me.