Saturday, June 25, 2011

Day 4 Proud and Proven Smile

I was born on a Tuesday, but I was not born full of grace as the old poem goes. Unfortunately for my little girl, she wasn’t blessed with grace either. She’s been in dance lessons for two years now and we continue with it because she enjoys it. She’s a kid after all, so as long as she’s enjoying it, who cares if she goofs around a little. She spent most of her time playing and never seemed to really get the hang of the dance routine. That’s how it was the first year of lessons and that seemed to be the way of it during the second year. So I was expecting the same type of behavior at her recital rehearsal today.
When we got to the auditorium, she turned to me and said, “I don’t feel good mom. My throat feels funny.” That told me that she was nervous and her anxiety was high. So I walked her over to her friend and she started to perk up. The rehearsals began and I sat in the dark room awaiting the curtain to part. I was anxious to see her dances as I had yet to see a whole routine. The moms were banned from the lesson room due to space and distractions, which was a total nuisance to me. I didn’t enjoy being banished to a narrow waiting room teeming with other moms, children and dancers jostling and jockeying for prime positions while one dance room tried to outdo the other with their loud music. There wasn’t much opportunity to see the girls practicing so I was both literally and figuratively left in the dark on rehearsal day. Well the curtain opened and there she was. Looking so much taller than I remembered her being just minutes ago. She wore a determined expression as well. She meant to do this right and do her best. And she did! She may not have been completely perfect, but she blew me away! I couldn’t believe that was my daughter up there! She amazed me during both dances and I couldn’t wait to tell her how proud she had made me. I didn’t care if she did everything perfect or not, but to see her commit to the routines that she had deemed as play time and to do so under nervous pressure took me by surprise. I was so thrilled to see her when she got off the stage and when she saw me she was beaming! We looked at each other and lit up inside! I loved every minute of it! It made every claustrophobic waiting room moment more than worth it.  So much so, that we’ll be doing it all again next year. I’ll just have to hold onto today’s proud smile-worthy moment. If you see a woman grinning from ear to ear in a tight space with too many people in it while being bombarded with “Whip My Hair” and “Evacuate the Dance Floor” at the same time over and over and over again... you’ll know it’s me and you’ll know why! My inner thoughts are on my sweet girl proving to herself that she can do whatever she sets her mind to and how I lucky I was to be there for it.

No comments:

Post a Comment