Smile Log 113: Birthday Smiles

I woke up smiling today. It's hard not to when your son comes running in and announces "I'm 10 years old today!" Yep, it's his birthday and he was overjoyed.

He was, by far, the happiest I've seen him in a very long time, discussing his plans for the doughnuts that I would be bringing into the class and ensuring that I had enough for the three extra kids that join his classroom occasionally.

Upon arriving to his school to drop off the much anticipated doughnuts, I was greeted by the principal. He happily shared with me that he heard it was a big day! How did he know this? The principal patted me on the back and shared that my son stepped off the bus, declared that it was his birthday and did a dance for good measure!

Stepping off the bus, he was still smiling! He was a happy kid! Then, he saw his gifts on the table! Excitement exuded once again!

He ran down to see the cake I made in the fridge and even from upstairs, I could hear the "THAT IS AWESOME!!" that boomed from below. It doesn't show well in the photo due to the colors, but it's a skateboard cake. Check out Disney Family Fun for the directions as it was really easy and very customizable.

We had a great evening of playing darts and Jenga, followed by pizza and cake, and all was laughing and having a good time. Joined by family and friends (thanks to technology, those who couldn't be here  were there through iChat), we enjoyed the company of our loved ones and cherished the moment. 

So, my boy is 10 years old! Double digits, as one person put it, is eye opening for me, but if the rest of the year holds the same amount of happiness for my son as today did, I will gladly embrace my son growing up. I see what can be for him and how deeply happy he can be with himself and with the possibility of the day and future. No worries, no tension, just happiness. That's worth at least 10 years of smiles to me and nothing less. 

Happy Birthday Son!   

Day 103 Project TV Buddy

So I'm home after a really long day of packing, traveling, and helping my son study for a test. The latter being the hardest part since he just couldn't retain anything he learned from this weekend or today. We studied before we left for home, we studied off and on during the trip, and we continued studying after arriving home and taking a play break. At one point, I laid my head on the cold enamel top table and repeated "Concord, New Hampshire-- Concord, New Hampshire-- Concord, Concord" and, maybe I blacked out here, but I think I even said "I don't care if you pronounce it Concurd or Con Cord, just write Concord down and remember it, please..."

So after laying down and trying to find my chi for a few minutes, the kids showered and got ready for bed, bedtime reading was done and I wend from finding my chi to finding my remote. I had to catch up with my DVR, I HAD TO!!!

I think it says a lot about my husband, the football fan and watcher of shows like Dexter and Sons of Anarchy, that he will sit right next to me while I watch an hour and half long episode of Project Runway. That man must love me. That really hit me more tonight and sent me into a good laugh when during the newest episode, I made a comment about a character on the show and I couldn't think of his name. My husband chimed up with "Who, Burt?" Yep, thank you. Not only for reminding me of the designer's name that I couldn't retain much like my son couldn't retain Providence, Rhode Island, but for joining me to watch a show that I know he couldn't care less about and actually paying attention to it for me. I appreciate that and I smile because of it.

Does that mean I have to watch Dexter now? Just the opening title sequence turns my stomach... oh boy...

Day 101 Line Drive to Smiles

Yay!! I got to see my friends! That makes me a happy a girl! It was awesome! My best friends since high school, five children from just a few tiny months old to my nine year old boy of awesomeness, food, and tee ball line drives straight to the back of unsuspecting children.

Soo... aside from my son deciding to play one man tee ball without noticing who was in the direct line of the hit which subsequently led to my daughter balling her eyes out (by the way, it was a whipple ball... how bad could it hurt?), it was a great night. Tee ball tear clean up wasn't nearly as annoying as I would've thought. I did have a jolly one year old on my hip while I corrected the nine year old and soothed the six year old while the almost three year old (with the most adorable bob) continued on without hesitation! I was in heaven! I was also on the look out for retaliation from my daughter who seems to want to adopt an eye for an eye attitude lately. She settle for an over exaggerated cry instead. Thank goodness!

No, I wasn't taking care of these four kids alone. There were four adults there, but it was really awesome having so many little ones around. And to top off the evening, my friends babysat their niece who is so new to this world that you just want to hold her all day long and make stupid silly faces while cooing at her. So I did hold her (and make funny faces and noises) for as long as I possibly could before I had to head home. That sweet little bundle was just adorable! A perfect little baby! Oh and she even had that wonderful little baby smell! So darn cute!

There couldn't possibly be any doubt out there about the number of smiles I had tonight! The smiles on the faces of my friends, on the children, and on me who enjoyed every flippin' minute of it!

Day 87 Teaming Up

Over the last few years, I've grown accustomed to receiving calls or emails from my son's teachers. Little notes used to explain how he became frustrated over too much noise when he's trying to concentrate, he became upset over changes he wasn't expecting, or he had a hard time socially. These issues come with both ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome.


Normally, my son would be given a break and I would hear about the incident at the end of the day.


Last year, I got my first call from the teacher on the second day of school. He wouldn't hand in his practice test incomplete despite being told he wouldn't have time to finish. His thoughts were that assignments must be completed. They always were expected to be done before handing them in. He became quite upset and teary eyed. This year has been different, though! We've made it through a week and a half without "There's a Problem" warnings! Progress people! That's progress!


However, Thursday, my son told me about not being able to focus on his assignment because of noises in the background from classmates. He said his teachers tried giving him headphones, but they didn't work because they weren't plugged in to anything. He said that they even let him sit by himself but it wasn't quiet enough. Did I get a call or email? Nope.


This sounded, to me, as though the teacher and assistant were still working on a solution. Normally, I'm told about the problem so I can be the problem solver, as if I'm the expert here.


That night, was the back to school night at his school and I met up with the special education teacher who helps out with my son. I mentioned my son's noise issue from the day. She said she had heard about it that they were continuing to find ways to help him.


I explained to her that my son uses headphones to listen to music at home in order to drown out my daughter's incessant singing, mumbling, or high pitched pretend voice whole he's doing homework. I offered to allow Hinton bring an iPod in if they were on board with it. She seemed open to it, but of course, wanted to speak with the teacher first.


Today, I received emails from each of them telling me to send in headphones and iPod if I were still okay with that. They would be more than happy to give it a try.


Personally, that felt awesome! I didn't receive the "There's a Problem" correspondence, his support group tried supporting him instead of making him fit to their needs, and they listened to my a suggestion and actually are giving it a try! I could do cartwheels I'm so happy! That's the way a team should work!


Loving my son's new class this year!!

Day 79 Wizard or Witch, Oh My!

For the last few days, I had been anticipating this morning, the morning I meet my son's teacher. Will she have the personality of Glinda the Good Witch or will I need a bucket of water by the end of the year?

Weeks ago, I emailed my son's teacher to arrange a call to simply give her a little information about my son, sort of a little heads up. Not that I consider my son to be anywhere near as warning worthy as a house falling from the sky, but a little "hey, look out for..." is not a bad idea. But, between her vacation, my vacation, and that Tornado Hurricane Irene wiping out the power and internet in my area, we kept missing each other. Finally, I got an email offering for me to come in and meet her personally before school (oh, I like that!).

As I walked into the school, I stopped into the office to let them know I was there. Let me be clear about this. I don't care for the office. For three years I've always been nice, and I always got the cold shoulder. I don't think it's personal, but the head office honcho doesn't try very hard to make you feel welcomed. You know that scene where Dorothy and crew are trying to get in to see the Wizard, and the guard slams the door window on them?

Yep, I feel like that's going to happen to me every time I go into that room. Well, I did, until one day last year, I marched into that office after my son left his class crying yet again, and requested sternly but politely that I would see the principal now. Since then, they seem to pay attention to me. I guess somewhere along the way, I picked up that Badge of Courage and used it.

Once I got past the office gates, so to speak, I found my way to the teacher's room. As I walked in, I felt like asking "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" Gratefully, I left with the sincere feeling that she could be our Wizard instead. She could be the one that gives him the Badge of Self-Esteem, and give him the power to "click his sneakers" to be stress free.

The big difference between the Wizard and my new team mate, is that she was not hiding behind some curtain or afraid to do what was needed. She was upfront about how we could work together, about what she expected, how she would handle situations, but above all she listened to me! I discussed modifying homework so it wouldn't take over two hours like it did last night, and she had no problem with that. Well, I've heard that before, only find out that my son was still being told to complete the work the next day. But this was different. I smiled from ear to ear when I saw that not only was she okay with the adjustments, she made the adjustment for me today.

Amazing!

We might have someone who will really help out this year. Someone who won't push my thoughts aside.   This teacher's got brains, heart, courage and my early approval! There's a long road ahead of us, but with the right support, we will all be smiling!

Day 76 New Shoes for School

My plan of doing my school clothes shopping in South Carolina where the crowds would be diffused by now has completely backfired on me. I wasn't able to get the shopping done because other things came up with family and I wouldn't change that for the world. After all, those family events are what brought me so many smiles during my vacation. That being said, shopping on Labor Day which also happens to be the day before school, gets a bit crazy.

I knew what was needed, I had a plan, I got it done. Until I realized that I forgot about my daughter's shoes. She went through some major growth spurts this summer and the shoes that fit just two months ago currently have her toes hanging ten. The dilemma began. 

There isn't a cute pair of size 11 or 12 not-so athletic sneakers within 40 miles of me. I'm pretty sure of that fact as I have called or visited every store outside of the already depleted mall at which I started (the first mall, that is... second mall came later). This task began around 1:00 this afternoon and continued on until I arrived home at 9:15. I finally found a few pairs at that second mall, but by then my daughter was back home getting ready for her first day of first grade. So what do you do when you need to buy shoes for a kid who can't try them on? You buy any and all pairs you remotely find a possible match in her size range, purchasing them in multiple sizes as well, and then hope with all the energy that is somehow lingering in your body that at least one pair fits.

While heading home, after a comfortably warm 80+ degree day, I was informed that the temperature would be dropping tomorrow to a cool 64 degrees. What the... That's not going to work with the pretty little short sleeve dress for my daughter or the shorts and t-shirt for my son! Now what?! Thankfully, my son was set as I bought him new jeans (yep, he outgrow all of those as well this summer). My daughter's jeans would need a belt and her new shirt would need a sweater. I was  so beat and I was ready for my own little meltdown. I did stop by another store, picked up a sweater, but no belt was to be seen. I reassessed the situation, again, and changed the plan back to the dress, a different sweater, and some white leggings. Hopefully, it will come together. 

Now, how does this play into my daily smiles? I'm exhausted! I've been all over hill and dale and barely made it home in time to kiss my kids goodnight. I still had preparations to accomplish at home as well and this blog to continue. What brought me through this Labor Day shopping disaster of a day? At one point in the day, my daughter, who always whines and complains when shopping, looked up to me and said "I'm not tired today at all! I'm excited! I'm excited for my first day of school tomorrow!" And for the first time in I can't remember how long, she hadn't complained about being tired or ready to go home. She really was excited! She was also nervous, but looking forward to this day with a big smile on her face. She skipped along through the mall all afternoon. God love her! So her smile and excitement got me through my day. I may not have smiled the whole day, but I knew how much she was smiling. That's all I needed.  

Day 75 A Clip of Bravery

After traveling 14 hours from South Carolina to New York over the last 2 days (2 hours getting across the George Washington Bridge alone), I'm finally home. But during that looonnng ride and our arrival home, I had a few moments that stood out to me as noteworthy, but I'm going to focus on my daughter's flash of irrational thinking.

My daughter had an anxiety meltdown about 13.5 hours into the trip (for a refresher about her anxiety see Day 42 Scooting Past Anxiety). She had a broken toenail that was barely hanging on, but unfortunately, was attached to the part of the toe where you can get ingrown nails. Ouch. But what concerned her was whether or not there would be blood if I clipped the nail off (for the record, she's never seen bleed from me clipping her nails before!).

This discussion (well, I discussed, she freaked out) began at the 12.5 hour of the trip and continued off and on until the end. "You cut it... no, I'll do it myself... Ohhh, I can't do it, you do it! But it'll hurt! I'll do it." She then tried to trim the nail herself and then lost the courage to continue, became frustrated and tearful.

She kept saying I didn't understand her and no matter what I said, I couldn't say the right thing. Especially when I told her she was brave. She disagreed with me vehemently! "Please stop saying that! I'm not brave!!" I, was surprised that she really said that actually, but she obviously felt it to be true.

I began to show her how brave she was. "You don't think you're brave? But you wouldn't jump in the pool like you did if you weren't brave! And would someone who isn't brave pick up starfish like you did? Or try to catch tadpoles, and fireflies? I think you're really brave!" Her damp little cheeks began to plump up, and she smiled widely, her blue eyes sparkling. She calmed down enough to let us wait until home to take care of the nail. Actually, I should sneak into her room now and clip that nail while she's sleeping.

I'm off to take care of stray nails, but know that I smiled just as intensely as she was while listening to my examples of her bravery. At one point during the end of our trip, I looked back at her to see her watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, wearing headphones, clipping her nails with the cute little red safety clippers, and actually smiling. She was laughing at Dopey. It was a beautiful scene, she looked happy and unconcerned. Those are the moments that make me smile, the moments when they learn to let it go.

Day 64 Smiles To and At Home

Ohh, it’s been a long day. Packing, traveling, and leaving my pups behind (won’t be able to see them for two and half weeks) makes me tired! 

Thankfully, I had my mother riding shotgun, keeping me entertained with celebrity gossip and trying to fix my Ford’s CD error issue. We weren’t successful with the CD player that has decided to hold my Talking Heads CD hostage, so we’ll just have to keep trying there. I will say that I”m thankful she doesn’t complain about my singing. My personal concert is what keeps me awake and coherent on long drives and often tunes out the bickering in the back seat. I will say that the bickering wasn’t so bad this afternoon either. After a pretty rambunctious afternoon, I was expecting my kids to be particularly fussy on the ride home, but I was pleasantly surprised by their good humoredness. I can handle a long car ride with my sanity intact when they behave well!

As exhausting as that ride is, it did bring me home and waiting for me, an hour earlier than expected, was my husband. I was happy to see him stepping down off the deck to greet us, hugging us before we barely had a chance to get out of the car (remember, he’s a hugger). This Friday will be our 11th anniversary and I can still say, after all these years, he’s a good man, thoughtful husband, and engaged father. I’m thankful to have him in my life and willing to put up with all his endless basement and shed organization in hopes that one day I’ll be able to redirect that organization towards the pantry and kids’ room. 

Arriving home after a drive that was more pleasant than usual thanks to my company and being greeted eagerly by my husband made for a few gleeful smiles today. 

Day 55 A Spider Ate My Grump

I confess and understand that I’m ridiculously irritable today! More so than I have been in quite some time... at least a week! It’s lingered with me all day, through cleaning, shopping, eating, swimming, and even some of Reiki class. It all started this morning... an alarm.

Somewhere around 7:30, my husband’s alarm goes off. Of course, he doesn’t hear it and it’s on his side of the bed, so I have to try to get him to turn it off. See, I don’t do alarms during the summer. From September through June, it is my job to wake everyone up in the house, five days a week. Yes, I know there are parents out there that do it every single day and more power to you. I personally take the summers off. And yet, I have to wake up to the alarm so that I can tell my husband to turn off the alarm that he has set so that he can wake up to it. Then he falls back to sleep, so I have to remind him to get up. Occasionally, I can fall back to sleep, but I’m usually awake after that. So today, I woke up on the wrong side of the obnoxious alarm this morning. I’m pretty sure he has picked the most heinous sound option in order to ensure that he hears it, however it just means that I awake from peaceful slumber by jumping out of my skin. Grating...

I would have loved to have been over the rainbow today... 

(Didn't my mama take a nice picture?!)

It poured today! I mean it didn’t just rain cats and dogs, but lions and tigers and bears (oh my) as well! And it just so happened to be raining it’s hardest when I was due to walk through it, umbrella-less. My husband meets me at the gym to work out, I go to my class and he takes the kids home when he’s done. Clever me knew that he would have to go to my car to get the booster seat, so why not just have him drive the car to me at the entrance. We would both be saved from having to walk in the rain. That only works if he answers the phone, which of course, on the wettest day possible with flooding all around us, he doesn’t. I know, not really his fault. He just didn’t hear it. He was probably preoccupied with relocating the booster in the monsoon. Still, I had to walk, (couldn’t run in my wet flip flop wedges) to the car which wasn’t nearly close enough. I can hear you thinking “You’re not gonna melt!” Did you see Wizard of Oz? That mean green lady went down and I was feeling pretty mean myself at this point. I had preferred not to take any chances. Turns out, I’m not so mean, or green for that matter, as I am here to tell my tale. But alas, in all my soggy glory, I had to go to my class. Wet cotton silk blend shirts stick to you. Ugh. 

After returning home from Reiki class, I found that my little girl had a sore throat and sounded froggy. She was ready for bed and wanted me to read her a story. I didn’t particularly feel like it, but she did take pain medicine like a champ (honestly, she whined and asked for reward points), so we picked out a story. After the story, she walked her fingers on my arm, asking where I was ticklish today. I explained that, today, I didn’t have a tickle spot. I’m grumpy. She then put her fingertips on my head and uttered “Arrrtsch,arrrtsch! There’s a spider on your head and he’s going to eat your grump!” And as the spider crawled on my head, jumped down my arms and tickled my belly, I began to laugh. She had done it. With her little spider, she get rid of my “grump”. She was smiling and laughing, despite her froggy voice and sore throat, and I was smiling now that my “grump” was spider dinner. If she could still be happy despite not feeling well and taking yucky medicine, I should grow up and get over my ornery behavior too. 

Clever idea: Her laughter should be recorded and used as my husband’s alarm! How could I get mad over waking up to that wonderful sound? There’s no way! I would wake up every day with a smile. Sounds like a good way to start the day.

Day 54 Back to School, Ugh

I don’t particularly like school. Oh, I didn’t mind it all that much when I was in school myself, but I’ve grown to loathe it now that my kids are in school. I want summer every day. I want to have an agenda free lifestyle, but I understand that’s just a bit irresponsible. So when I finally got the school supply list yesterday (yes, my school makes us wait until supplies are depleted at the stores before giving us buying power.... they like to make us really work at being parents), I headed out today, with the family in tow, to buy out what was left at the stores.

I’d love to know why some teachers are so brand specific. I’m a Crayola girl and that’s what I like to buy my kids. So when my daughter’s school list specified a 64 box of Crayola crayons was required, I was happy to oblige. However, I don’t understand why it has to be Crayola. Yes, I like the Crayola quality, but what if someone else prefers Rose Art or prefers to buy generic? What if someone has a coupon for a different brand? Do teachers need to actually specify brand for crayons? 

The next one was for markers. The same list specified Mr. Sketch markers. I’ve never even heard of those before and apparently they aren’t sold in many places. Why can’t I just buy my Crayola markers I’ve loved over the years that are stocked readily in the aisle with the 64 box of Crayola crayons? Another trip is needed for that purchase.

On my son’s list, there was the typical irritation. His list specified 3 glue sticks. Have you seen a 3 pack of glue sticks? I’m convinced they don’t exist. So I had to buy 2 packs of 2 glue sticks. Now, you’d think I would be able to use that extra one for my daughter right? She must need glue sticks too, I mean, what elementary student doesn’t?! Well, she needed glue sticks alright, but she required the LARGE glue sticks. Four of them (they’re sold individually)!

Once home, I packed up their backpacks with everything they needed except for the few things I hadn’t been able to find (thank you Mr. Sketch), and hung them up by the door. They don’t start school until September 6th (thank goodness), but it felt good to get that job out of the way, at least most of it. One less thing to worry about.

I do not look forward to sending my kids back to school. We’ve just had such a hard time over the years with my son’s difficulties. I know that once school’s in session again, I’ll be back to three hours of homework, rushing in the morning no matter how early I get up, and daily worry about how my son is handling his day. But for now, the backpacks are ready and that was pretty easy. I’ll take easy as much as I possibly can. I know that I don’t look forward to school, but my kids still do. And that’s amazing to me. After everything my son’s been through, he still gets excited about the beginning of school. That ability to start fresh every year is what I’ll strive for myself. So every time I pass those waiting backpacks, I’ll force a smile until I don’t have actually force it anymore and it comes naturally. Perhaps I’ll meditate thinking of the happy smiles my children will have on their faces that first day of school, wearing those very backpacks, filled to the brim with Crayola, Mr. Sketch and more. I can make myself smile about school... School means smiles, school means smiles, school means smiles.... we’ll see.

Day 53 Now, We're All Saving...

My kids love to buy stuff. My son asks for things all the time regardless of how many times I tell him we aren’t buying anything. My daughter is more understanding of the proclamation and tends to stick to the “No asking” rule much better. But in the beginning of the summer, the kids were going to spend all of their earned money on more wasteful toys. I told my kids that we needed to save our money for our vacation so we would have more to spend there. My son sort of brushed that aside, but my daughter took it to heart and gave it some thought. “You think we should save our money?” “Yes, I think we should.” “Even you?”  Drats! “Yes, all of us.” I am occasionally reminded of this.

My little diva was invited to a birthday party for today and of course, I waited until the last minute to buy a gift (as in I’m gift shopping 30 minutes before the party begins). As my daughter and I are speedily searching through the toy store, my daughter picks out a butterfly net. She loves her butterfly net, so why wouldn’t her friend?! I was happy to oblige, besides there wasn’t time to argue. Then I noticed the low price tag and then the sale sign. I couldn’t very well give just a $5 present. So I told my little girl to pick out a few more things to go with it. She looked up at me, with butterfly net in hand, and said “Well, okay, but I don’t want you spending too much! We’re saving for our Myrtle Beach vacation, remember?” Yes, I remember... it's my happy place.

After the birthday party, the family went to an outlet mall. I’ve been searching for a pair of summery sandals to go with a few dresses I had bought earlier this year (and yes, my daughter questioned if my purchase was cutting into her vacation money) after my cute JCrew jellies broke mid stride while out and about last week. I found a great deal on a pair of replacement shoes and then we meandered the plaza of deals. We came across the Converse store and I thought that it would be nice for the kids to have new shoes for school. As my daughter tried a pair of Converse that represented a diva in style with it’s cute glittery appearance, she once again reminded me of our beach vacation. I had to explain that “Yes, I know we’re saving for our vacation, but we do need to buy some things and this happens to be a buy-one-get-one-half off deal so we’re saving a little money that way! Now, do they fit or not?” They didn't and I don't think she was too disappointed at all... I think she was thinking of her happy place.

We have two weeks left before our much anticipated vacation and I can’t wait. Not only is Carolina calling me to it’s shores, but I want to open up my wallet without the miniature accountant reminding me of my expenditures. Oh, she’s been good with not buying anything and I love that! I just can’t enjoy a browse through the Kate Spade outlet knowing she’s watching my every move. Ah, well, I’ll enjoy our little holiday that much more when I go shopping at the outlet there! Until then, I’ll just keep picturing that wonderful ocean and serene view! That’ll keep a smile plastered to my face!

Day 48 Meditate to Dormancy

A fellow blogger friend of mine has a weekly post entitled Meditation Monday that gently and humorously reminds us to take a moment to relax. While I did read the blog and think to myself That would be nice and all...  but I actually ended up using meditation throughout my evening. And I wasn’t the only one meditating...

I had a Reiki Master class tonight which involved a lengthy meditation. While I greatly enjoyed the meditation, I was pretty tired by the end of the class. Class is 7:00-10:00pm which means that my husband picked up the kids from the gym and picked up the slack with them. Unfortunately for him, it was a rather difficult night. 

My son was particularly short tempered tonight and especially irrationally adamant. For example, on the way home, they stopped at a sub shop for dinner. My son always gets a toasted ham and turkey, bacon, shredded cheddar cheese and mayo sub. My husband doesn’t know that, so it was completely confusing when my son was pointing to the shredded cheese and saying he wanted American cheese. After clearly asking for American cheese and verifying for certain that he wanted American cheese, that’s what was given to my son. Of course, that’s when he finally understood that he really wanted shredded cheddar. Panic and frustration sets in and begins to bubble over. 

*Think of a volcano... ground shaking, lava gurgling, under stress, but hasn’t yet erupted. 

He was upset, but my husband was able to settle him down. There were a few moments like this as the night went on and that volcano crept closer and closer to erupting until finally... 

My husband notifies the kids that it is time to get ready for bed. There’s griping (no surprise here). My son is sent to bed to read quietly. Now, I was at class, but from what I was told, I imagine it went a lot like this...

“But I don’t have my iPod!! I need it to read!!” 

To which I’m sure husband told him to go ahead and get it.

“It’s in Mom’s car and she’s not here!! I can’t go to bed without it!!” 

At which point he walks off and continues to get closer to eruption. 

My daughter displayed amazing (and surprising) heart when she offered up her iPod so he could feel better. He snaps at her and declines. He apparently spends some quality time hitting walls. 

*And we have eruption... 

He’s so upset about all of this that he states that he feels like he’ll die (Oh, the drama... thank you Asperger’s Syndrome). 

*Do you have a metal umbrella, because that lava is really raining down now. 

So that statement completely upsets my daughter and she begins crying as well. And that’s when I came home...

I walked in, greeted by the lovely but heartbroken, tearful face of my daughter who hugged me and explained that her brother said something that would give her nightmares (Yep, they were all awake still). I can hear a heated conversation coming from the kids’ room. As I make my way into the bedroom, I can see that my husband is at the end of his jump rope and my son is utterly overwhelmed. 

I take over, giving my husband a chance to settle down, and calmly explain a few things. “We may want our iPod, but we do not need it. If you feel upset, simply say that you’re upset and need a break. Hitting walls is never tolerated...” yada yada, blah blah blah. Well, he settled down and I put on a meditation mp3 for him to calm down to. He liked it so much he wanted to do another one. 

*Ahh, volcano lies dormant again. 

We may have to continue Meditation Monday around here...

On a side note-- As I tucked in my daughter and gave her kisses, she hugs me and tells me “I really missed you.”  That gave me a big smile and she got an extra long hug tonight!

Day 47 An Itch I Can't Scratch

My sunburn (See Day 44 I Miss My Hugger) is itching like crazy now that it’s healing and I probably look like I have fleas to everyone else. Despite that, I’ve had a good day! I’ve even been laughing at myself while trying to reach that not so easy spot to reach between my shoulder blades!

Our company left this morning which was too soon in my opinion, but we did all get to enjoy a breakfast of French Toast that I didn’t scorch beyond recognition (It’s a MIRACLE!!). Okay, maybe not enjoy, but it was food! Enough said. 

Maybe I could spray some benedryl on my back... If I lean over, spray it in the air behind me, it just might go where I need it. 

When it was time for our friends to leave, I was sad to see them go. I contemplated hiding the kids behind the sofa or some where. One of two things would’ve happened: 1. My friends would have left the kids behind (there’s no way) 2. My friends would have stayed longer (Yep!) 

But I didn’t hoard the kiddies. I let them go and missed them all dearly when they were gone. There’s something so brightening about having toddlers back in the home. I get that itch to have a third child from time to time... an itch.. 

Where’s a Backscratcher when you need one? Oh, yea... He's off fishing somewhere... Rubbing my back up against the couch cushions isn’t working nearly as well... “Hey kids... Come here a sec...” I knew those kids of mine would come in handy!

But the highlight of my evening was my son howling with laughter at a television show. Now, typically, he watches shows that are funny, but he doesn’t realize it. He tends to watch shows such as “Top Gear” which he absorbs all the information from, but doesn’t really get the humor (he does tend to add in a british accent occasionally though which gets me laughing). But tonight, I had put on a DVR’d episode of “The Marriage Ref” and that show flipped his giggle box right over! As a child that I don’t see laugh nearly enough, I could watch this anomaly for hours on end!  

Ahhh... Found my daughter’s butterfly net! I suitable substitute for a backscratcher... That’s better... 

Day 46 Settling Right Down

When I’m staying away from home, I tend to have difficulty sleeping. That’s what happens when I’m not in my own bed, with my own pillow and it usually means my schedule is out of whack too. The same often goes for children as well. So while I’m happily babysitting two of the cutest children ever (and one’s already snoozing away), I can’t help but love blankets and pillows.

There’s something to be said about laying down a couple of blankets and pillows on a floor, turning off the lights and playing a movie. It can be very subduing. We put on the movie Rio (slightly endorsing it because my husband worked on the movie, but no I’m not getting paid to do this) and the effect is wondrous. 

The young ones are lying down quietly... It’s really sweet! I’m off to enjoy this moment and smile at the little cuteness happening before me, like our little guest petting my daughter’s hair or telling my son he’s so silly and making him smile. It’s way too cute , I’ve gotta join them!

Day 43 Underwater Laughing

Can you do it? Can you laugh underwater? I, personally, have never attempted this! I have a bit of an anxiety (gee, wonder where my kids get their anxiety issues from) about swimming that I really try to hide from my kids. I happen to like having my feet on the bottom of the pool and I don’t go more than knee deep in the ocean or lakes (okay, the ocean/lake thing I don’t hide quite so well).  My nervousness prevents me from trying many things like handstands, underwater tea parties, and apparently, underwater laughing! 

At the pool today, I wanted to work on getting my kids more comfortable swimming with their faces in the water. Neither of my kids are strong swimmers. With my own anxiety aside, I wouldn’t trust either of them in to swim more than five feet, and my daughter seems to think that she’s forgotten how to swim entirely, despite the months of swimming lessons she’s received from trained professionals (for which we paid a lot of money, I might add). 

So after the kids had practiced swimming comfortably with their life jacket or boogie board, I was able to get my little not-so mermaid to shed the life jacket and give swimming a try. Oh, she was nervous! But she was trusting of me (that makes me smile) and found a comfortable step for footing. She checked her oh so important goggles for water tightness, she steadied her footing, she grabbed ahold of the railing with one, she eyed my distance from her and debated how far she thought she could manage. As she pushed away from the step, I could see the fear in her eyes, but you know what? She was smiling! She dove forward, kicked her legs and reached with her arms... she made it to me! Yay!! All smiles!

She was ready to try again! With steady footing, she prepared for the lunge. This time, she submerged her face and swam under water to me! Whoa! Where’d this come from? She began swimming back to the step and allowed me to go further and further out. She was definitely getting comfortable. 

During one of her dives, as she was swimming towards me, being a fish in her words, she apparently spied my son’s hiney (covered) through her goggles underwater. Having the typical sense of humor of a young child, she found this funny! And so she began to laugh! Underwater! I had no idea what was going on so I immediately pulled her up (water anxiety, remember?), but she was actually laughing! Not kidding! Laughing and smiling, even as I was pulling her from what I thought was a watery demise. Once I realized she was perfectly fine, I was smiling too, but reminded her that maybe underwater isn’t the place to start LOL’ing! 

Her progress, good humoredness and bravery (I'm still not about to try laughing underwater) was definitely smile worthy! 

Before anyone decides to pass judgement on me being afraid to go in the ocean, have you watched Shark Week yet? Um, case closed. I'll come up with an excuse for the lake later!

Day 42 Scooting Past Anxiety

My daughter is a cautious girl. She’s afraid to ride her bike because she fell last year. She won’t even consider riding on my son’s small four wheeler or motor bike, even with me or my husband driving it.  When she’s feeling adventurous, she’ll grab a scooter and baby step it along the driveway. Today, she was feeling adventurous apparently. 

I watched her scootin’ along the driveway at a speed that I’m pretty sure my grandma could beat, but hey, the more she pushed along, the more confidence she will gain. Ideally... But even with her dawdling pace, she managed to trip. 


Now, I don’t know much about calculating speed impact, but it always seemed to me that the faster an object is going when it hit a wall (or a driveway in this scenario), the harder the hit. The harder the hit, the more damage there is. If that rule holds true, then I’d hate to see what she would’ve looked like if she had been going faster. She managed to scrape up both knees, one knee in three places, scrape her elbow and and bruise her hip. I knew she was alright by the way she ambled over to us, but I could tell that this was going to be a situation.

I greeted her compassionately, trying to keep her calm. I knew that once she got sight of a little red, she would lose reason. I beckoned her to sit on my lap and I would give her Reiki. She sat down and before I could hover my hands above her knee (the worst one) she caught sight of the RED (we can’t say blood in this house). 


Her eyes widened, her hands tensed, she kicked her feet and began begging for a band-aid.  “Please, I need  a band-aid!! Just let me have a band-aid!! Please!!” 


I wanted to give her the band aid, believe me, but I also wanted her to settle down first -- take control of her anxiety. I assured her that I would give her the band-aid after I gave her Reiki, to which she reminded me that I could do it afterwards too. With that remark, she grinned... knowing she had me. How could I argue with that reasoning? I smiled with her and instead of caving, I asked her how many raspberry bushes did she think we had in our yard. I asked her to count them out loud. As she counted, I asked the Reiki to flow. She kept counting.. 13, 14, 16. “Wait, a minute! You forgot 15 again. Poor 15! You always skip poor 15.” And I was glad she decided to take this opportunity to argue this with me. Hey, she wasn’t screaming for a band-aid. She continued counting and I continued treating her with energy. 


She was calm, feeling less pain, and in control. 

I took her in to get the band-aid as promised, but she not once lost control of her senses again. As we found the perfect sized band-aid, she smiled and laughed with me. I couldn’t have been happier for her. She later took a peek behind the band-aid, and saw how much red was on the gauze. She simply covered it back up and continued on with her playing. Phew! I’m so glad she was able to act nonchalant about it although I knew it was bothering. She didn’t allow it to take her over again. For every one of her moments of success, even if she may not realize the success at the time, I smile a little brighter. I can see how far she’s coming and I couldn’t be happier! Now, I've just got to get her back onto that scooter... I see elbow and knee pads in our future.

Day 39 Her Frown Turned Upside Down

We had a good ol’ family day out today! I’m a bit ashamed to say that I have lived within an hour’s drive to the Bronx Zoo for over five years and yet today was my first visit there. A travesty I say! As we neared Exit 6 on the Bronx River Parkway, I could see the zoo through the trees and I was actually giddy with excitement! As the day went on, I wasn't disappointed! I had a blast and walked my legs off! The kids seemed to enjoy themselves as well... at least my daughter eventually enjoyed herself. 

My daughter, for all of her six years, has never enjoyed walking around. She has no patience for it and really becomes miserable any time she can't get out of doing it by conning someone to carry her on their shoulders (Yep, she managed to con my husband into doing it today as well). I had my camera with me today, as usual, and wanted to take photos of basically everything, which included my children. She wanted no part of that for some reason. I usually have no trouble getting her to play up to the camera, but lately she's shown me clearly that she wants nothing to do with my camera about as much as she wants nothing to do with long walks. I had yet to get a decent photo of her and after about the upteenth time of asking her to please let me get a nice photo of her, she declined again. I finally, just said "I really just don't even want to take your photo now. Just never mind!""Oh, fine!" she says to me to which I replied "Nope, I don't want a picture of my daughter behaving like a brat anyway." I know, not the most mature thing to say, but I'm not perfect. Her father told her that it's a lot easier to smile for the camera than to be difficult about it and if she couldn't be bothered to simply smile for the camera, then maybe we can't be bothered to wait in line for the carousel. Well, that seemed to do the trick! She not only smiled, she stood behind one of those ridiculous stand-ups with the faces cut out! I was thrilled to get a picture of her not looking away, but I knew it was going to be short lived. As soon as we get her on that carousel, she'll go back to being a sour puss. 

But she didn't! She kept on smiling, even after the carousel! She smiled while putting together her lego tile for a mural, while going through the congo exhibit, while checking out the zebras. She smiled the most while searching for animals during the monorail ride... actually, that makes sense! She didn't have to walk! 

Well, I was proud of her for turning around her attitude and as much as I enjoyed the zoo (and I certainly did), we were all able to love it all the more because of the light that glows from that girl when she smiles. I love that twinkle in her eye! Even when I said that there was a Children's Zoo and I wonder how many children they have in the exhibit, she grinned! When her father wondered if they take donations, she twisted up that twinkly smile into an intensely thoughtful face. When I replied "Ooh, maybe we can donate you! Wouldn't it be cool to live in a zoo?!" Her mouth upturned slightly on one side, the twinkly charm came on strong and she says "noooo." Well, she got the joke at least. We all left the zoo smiling today, whether there was a camera or not!

Day 34 Adding a Little Color

I awoke to the thought of taking the kids to the lake today. Checked the weather and found that all day rain was going to knock out that possibility. Well, now what? No camp, no tutoring and no play date was on the calendar.  Hmmm.... What we needed was a project! Something inexpensive, easy for all ages and appealing to my eye. I love those macaroni crafts and cereal necklaces as much as the next person, but I wanted something I could hang on the wall for years to come, not something I would fear the dogs would eat. I also have an understanding that I don’t find the same crafts appealing that my children do. I like crochet, puzzles (I sound really old) and photography. They like LEGO’s, coloring books, stickers, photography and anything requiring lots of glue and glitter everywhere. Aha, photography is our common ground. Normally, I would give them a camera and tell them to take pictures, but they couldn’t go outside. I decided to find a craft using our photographs.

What we used:

Artist chalk 

Color pencils

Cotton swabs or Cotton Balls 

Black & White photograph printed on cardstock

A few damp paper towels to clean hands

Krylon Matte Finish Spray (to seal the artwork when finished)

The kids went through iPhoto and picked out the pictures they wanted to color in. I converted them to B&W and printed them out. 

I explained to them that they needed to work from the top of the image down to the bottom to keep from smearing the images. I showed them to color lightly and blend with the cotton swab for the chalk. I also showed them where the interesting colors were in the original image and guided them to make the colors pop out against the darker areas. After that, it was all up to them. 

They loved it and kept saying how much fun it was. My son said he couldn’t wait to tell his art teacher about it. The artwork looks great, and they got to try something new (smile). And it wasn’t too messy (big BONUS smile). I like to think I won mom bonus points for once (smile of relief)! Oh, also, there was absolutely NO bickering between them the entire time they were crafting (smile for sanity)! 

Now, all I have to do is hang them up in the house! The photos are more vibrant than the scans and I couldn't be happier with them. I think they’ll go nicely on my wall.