Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Day 99 Sibling Respect, Huh?

Siblings.... Sigh... There are days when I feel like my kids are always going to be bickering with each other and will forever be at each other's throat. There are times that it just drives me CRAZY!  They just don't seem to have respect for one other. I didn't grow up fighting with a sibling as there is a nine year difference between my sister and I so maybe I'm being delusional about expecting them to get along, but I want them to really try and be nice to each other. Is that crazy? They're supposed to love each other!

Well, after spending all day defending my son with the school, all I could think of is "Am I being irrational here?" From what I understood from hearing different point of views, was that my son became upset over a situation that was instigated by another child. My son was portrayed as a bully when he was actually reacting to another child's behavior. I wanted the school to be clear that he did not instigate this, he was reacting, he did not threaten or touch this other child, and that he just became upset. A very normal occurrence for him and something that we are all trying to help him with. My son is the apple cart that many kids on the bus seem to want to upset. This has been corroborated by the bus driver and other students as well. It really stinks for my son that he gets targeted, and then he gets in trouble for becoming upset. 

Some days, it feels like I am the only one going to bat for my son. I know deep down that that isn't really the case. My husband is right there with me and my son does have a pretty good support system in school. But there are still days I feel the burden. However, I must say that I was a bit surprised when I learned of a new defender. 

After picking up the kids from school, and heading out on a long car ride for a long weekend, my kids began telling me about their day. I heard a particularly interesting account of this morning's bus ride from my daughter. 

My daughter explained how one of her friends (to be perfectly honest, I don't particularly care for this "friend" as I don't think she shows qualities of a friend) said to her "Your brother is mean. My brother says he is mean." Now, when I hear this, I think to myself Oh, this is coming from the sister of the boy who has caused bruises on my son, rushed at him with his fist ready, and taunts him with two other boys on the bus... sure, that makes sense. 

My daughter's reply was "No, he's not." The girl repeated her previous comment and stated that she didn't think she wanted to be friends anymore. My daughter said "Well, I don't think I want to be your friend anymore." And then she preceded to sing about it. Not sure what that's all about, but she's an interesting girl.

I expressed my appreciation for her standing up for her brother. Honestly, I was ecstatic! She loves him!! Yay!! I knew it was in there somewhere! My son let his sister know that he gets picked on by the other girl's brother. I loved her response: "WHAT?! She lied to me! They lied. Well, I told my teacher she was hurting my feelings and that's against the classroom rules!" Hah!! 

Trying to be a good mom, I expressed again that I was so glad that she stuck up for her brother, but to not make a big deal about it any further. No need to continue on with the argument and cause more problems. Internally, I was doing a jig! I'm sorry, but I loved that she was standing up for her brother and she was willing to stake a friendship on it. And here I thought I they didn't respect each other. Well, maybe they don't, but at least she won't let someone else disrepect him!

When my son spends a good portion of his day dealing with social issues and getting taunted on the bus, I am so happy to know that he has at least one person there with him that he can count on to support him. It feels good to know that he was being defended by not only me, but his sister too. What a great thing to learn and a great smile to wear! 

1 comment:

  1. Love it. I've been using the old "we'll be dead and gone one day, and all you really will have left is each other" for years (plagarized directly from my own parents). I don't care if they kill each other behind closed doors, but as long as they have each other's backs out in the world, I'll be a happy mom.