Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Day 77 First Day of My Part Time Job

Today was bittersweet. I'm one of those moms that finds it hard to let my kids go. The first day of school is always rough for me, not for my kids, just me. This is a day about which they are both excited! Particularly, my daughter. My son is excited to see his friends, but the last few years have made his love for school wane a bit. But in general, they look forward to who's in their class, who will sit next to them, and all that jazz. As happy as that first day makes us, I'm sent into a flurry of emotions.

I knew when that first buzz from the alarm sounded, the next 10 months would become a stretched out question mark. How will each day be? Will my son be able to get out the door without the house becoming chaotic? Especially now that his sibling is getting ready for that same bus as well. Will my son get through his day without meltdowns and frustrations? Will I get calls from the teacher? How will his bus ride be? How much homework will he have and will I be able to get both kids to get their work done? Will it take hours and hours every day again? And that's just for my son! While my daughter has an easier time at school, I worry about her anxiety. Who knows when someone might get a boo boo and she begins to freak out?! Or what if a gnat flies by her desk? How will the teacher handle a child who won't allow herself to be near unexpected insects? I feel like I should've stuffed a fly swatter in her backpack with the Band-aids I put in there in case she or someone else begins to bleed.

Plus, I'm home alone now! What am I to do with myself now? I already do some work from home and I'll be trying to start a Reiki practice as well, but my life is being a mom. For 7 hours, 5 days a week, I'm a mom without kids. That's 35 hours a week! My full time mom career has become part time!

And why does it get cold here immediately when school starts? It was 80 degrees yesterday and now it's suddenly 61? I can't stand being cold and worse, it's raining! Wet, cold, childless! Oh the horror!

But like the thoughtful man that he is, my husband had planned to take the day off for the first day back to school, not just go in late. He also got me to the IMAX theater to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2. I had resigned to the idea of eventually renting it and hanging my head in shame as being the only Potter fan that didn't see the finale in the theater! But now, I just get to own up to being the last Potter fan to see it in the theater instead... and I'm perfectly fine with that. It's as if he knew that I would need something to preoccupy my time today, to take the edge off. I may have been crying in the movie, but I was smiling internally knowing that I have a considerate husband.

I awaited outside (cold and raining, that's how much I couldn't wait for them) for them to get home a full 20 minutes earlier than they were expected. Would they get off the bus smiling? Yes, they did!! I asked how their day was and I heard a resounding "good" from them both. Then, my son went into a lengthy dissertation on Beyblades and how he needed more to join in with his friends... and I mean lengthy. Their happy little faces washed away all the worries of the day.

At least until that alarm tomorrow morning.

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