Day 91 Lighter Time

9:26 My son calls my cell from school.


10:22 Ding! Voicemail (no missed call, just a voicemail). "Mom, could you bring me my card?" Crap, what card is he talking about?! Was he upset or is that his cold? Oh no, did he have a meltdown? I'm so going to hear about this, I just know it...


10:23 School secretary answers my call and reminds me that today was the library field trip and that they have already left.


10:25 I'm in the car.


10:35 I'm in line at the library to make sure there's no late fee (which there was). I have to pay that so they don't deny him the book.


10:36 My son comes walking down the stairs and stands right behind me without realizing it. He catches my eye. Oh boy... here it comes. I prepared myself for "Mom! You forgot to give me my card!" with tears in tow. I smiled hoping to diffuse any possible inflammatory remark, but it was a leery smile, one prepared to divert attention, but soothe the volcano. I hear "Oh hi Mom. Can I have my library card please?"


10:37 "Yes." Yes to a few things. Yes to his question. "YES, no berating!" I escaped unscathed. It is amazing. Yes, he handled an unexpected situation without blaming me for it. Yes, he handled the situation without losing it. He kept himself together. He moved on with his tour, I handed the card to his teacher and slipped out without notice.


From 10:22 through 10:36, I was mentally freaking out. I looked calm and cool, but internally, I was awaiting what history has taught me. That's a lot of stress in a short amount of time. When you carry a weight on your shoulders, a weight made of stress, fatigue, apprehension, and questions, a sudden clearing of that weight makes you feel as though you could float away. It is a freeing sensation, but one I considered purely mental.


But I couldn't help but smile when my husband came home, gave me one of hugs where he lifts me off the ground and says to me "You feel lighter." Smile...