What does an uneventful day mean? Sure, there were little smiles from time to time and plenty of those little moments that keep the day from being downtrodden, but there weren’t any those big feel-good smile moments. So what does it mean to me that I did not conquer my smile today? I think I have a few ways I could look at this...
First of all, I could choose to think that I didn’t try hard enough. That I let the day’s opportunity go by without grasping the chance create my own smile or sharing smiles with my children. What might I have done differently today to make that happen? Perhaps I could have played with my daughter at the playground more vigorously rather than just help her across the monkey bars. Instead of rushing to get dinner on the stove, I could have taken a moment to play video game with my son. Regardless, the opportunities were there and I didn’t take hold of them. Well, isn’t that depressing...
Maybe I just didn’t notice the great moments of the day. If I really tried to picture every minute of my day, could I really still sit here and think that it wasn’t a successful smile day? That would mean that I’m missing it all. I would feel terrible if I had smile moments go by that I enjoyed at the time, but didn’t remember. If I can’t remember it, I can’t relish in the delight of it. That’s deeply saddening...
I could just say to myself that everyday isn’t going to be great. Everyday doesn’t have to me be riddled with smiles and joys. Shouldn’t I be able to go about my day without looking for daily smiles? Shouldn’t I be allowed to just get through day sometimes without fretting about smiling? My, that’s a bleak way of looking at things...
I will defend myself somewhat by saying that today was one of those days that the kids bickered and argued all the time they were together. I certainly felt like I was stepping in regularly and reminding them each how to speak nicely to each other, that it is okay for your brother to help you so don’t scream at him, and you cannot keep telling your sister to be quiet all the time. So maybe instead of beating myself up for not having huge smiles or for not beaming from within, I should be thinking about this day a little differently...
I did not raise my voice at anyone today! Despite the incessant at-each-other’s-throat behavior of my kids, I was able to quietly and calmly remind my spawn loves to talk respectfully and be patient with one another. I took the time to show them how to communicate their thoughts without so much frustration and with more clarity. Oh, there were plenty of times I felt like threatening them with pulling the car over and a red-headed step child phrase kept popping up in my mind for some reason, but I kept it together! Calm, cool and collected. I had errands and projects going on today as well, and I kept my cool no matter what was sent my way. Even the frigid grocery store didn’t get me off track.
So I didn’t conquer my smile today, but I can’t ignore the progress that I was able to get through a potentially stressful day without losing my cool or taking my frustration out on anyone else. Not all days are stressful and not all stressful days need to feel stressful. That’s something that I would like to practice recognizing just as much as I recognize my smile moments. I can get over not conquering my smile today now that I realize that I conquered my stress! Now, isn’t that something to smile about...
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